Walk into the library like whatup i got a weird cock
(via alqueso)
“sorry you’re not my type” i say to the man willing to donate blood to me as i am sick on my death bed
(via jessicabrown0)
do you ever just rub your eyes so hard that you just start entering some other fucking galaxy of swirls and patterns
(via jessicabrown0)
they call me macklemore in math class because im like
what what what what what
what what what what what what what
what what what what
(via jessicabrown0)
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
yes i’m very good in bed. excellent in bed. *props up pillows and folds blankets* *pillow falls over* uh *sweats nervously* this doesn’t usually happen i promise
(via mr-radical)
Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
(via mr-radical)
